I was trying to deal a customer the other day and I had offered him £1495 for his car in part exchange, but he said it wasn’t enough as he had seen a car exactly like his for sale on a dealers forecourt priced at £2495.

Now business is fairly hard at the moment so rather than just sauntering back to my office and watching Top Gear I persevered.

I took a deep breath and summoned all my selling skills which have been honed to perfection over many years in the trade, and  numerous sales training courses costing my previous employers tens of thousands of pounds, In full flow i am to car sales what the Terminator is to killing! (I wish!) .

I felt the most effective way of overcoming the customer’s objections and selling my car was to use my version of the “balance sheet close”, and it went like this,

Well Mr Browne if i was to allow you £1495 and then sell your car for £2495 i would have to pay vat on the £1000 perceived profit margin that’s £166.67p.

According to my appraisal to prepare your car for sale i would need to rectify the following items,

Your CD Radio is broken that’s £100 to replace,

2 new wheel trims £50.00

There’s a cigarette burn in the seat that’s £40.00 for a smart repair.

Your rear passenger door is badly dented and will need painting that’s at least £150.00

There are several trolley dents on other panels £70.00.

Advertising cost £20.00 per week so if it takes on average 4 weeks to sell a car that’s £80.00.

A full valet £80.00.

The car needs a service, mot, cam belt, rear wheel bearing, front discs and pads, and your 2 front tyres need replacing £300.00.

A Warranty Policy would cost £70.00.

Overheads, Rent, Traders Policy, Public Liability Insurance, Electricity, Landline, Mobile Phone, Broadband, Bank Charges, Vandalism, Petrol, ETC is approx £180.00 per car sold.

So that’s an expenditure of £1286.67 with a potential mark up of only £1000.

Well thank you Mr Browne for making me realise that if i could only sell your car for £2495 i would lose approximately £286.67p, i’ll tell you what don’t buy my car, here’s £50 you’ll be doing me a big favour if you go and buy a car somewhere else.

Now where did i put the TV remote?